A parenting plan is the document that spells out how separated or divorced parents will raise their children across two homes: where the kids live and when, who makes which decisions, and how parents will handle everything from holidays to disagreements. Depending on where you live, it may be called a parenting plan, custody agreement, parenting agreement, or be part of a custody order.

Requirements differ from state to state. Some states have their own forms or required sections, and courts review plans based on the best interests of the child. But the questions a good plan answers are remarkably similar everywhere. Use this checklist to make sure you've thought through the essentials.

1. Legal custody and decision-making

Legal custody is about who makes major decisions for the children. Your plan should cover:

Whether decision-making is joint or held by one parent (terminology varies by state)
Which decisions are "major": typically education, non-emergency health care and religious upbringing, and sometimes extracurricular activities
How joint decisions are made, and what happens if you can't agree
Who can make emergency medical decisions, and how quickly the other parent is notified
Access to school, medical and activity records for both parents

2. The regular parenting time schedule

This is the heart of most plans. Be specific:

The schedule type, for example week-on/week-off, 2-2-3, 2-2-5-5, every other weekend, or a custom arrangement
The start date and which parent starts the rotation
Exact handoff days and times ("Friday after school" or "Sunday at 6 p.m.")
Any midweek visits or phone/video call times
Whether the schedule changes as children get older

3. Holidays and special days

Holiday time usually overrides the regular schedule. Include:

A list of the holidays that matter to your family: Thanksgiving, winter break, Christmas Eve and Day, New Year's, spring break, Easter or other religious holidays, Fourth of July, Halloween, three-day weekends
How each is split: alternated by even and odd years, divided within the day or break, or fixed to one parent
Start and end times for each holiday period
Mother's Day, Father's Day, the children's birthdays and parents' birthdays
How winter break is labeled when it crosses into a new year

Our holiday custody schedule guide covers common ways to split each one.

4. School breaks and summer

How summer is divided (see our summer custody schedule ideas)
Vacation weeks for each parent, how many, and the deadline to choose them
Who gets first pick, and whether that alternates by year
How school break dates are determined each year (usually from the school district calendar)

5. Exchanges and transportation

Where exchanges happen: school, one parent's home, a neutral public location
Who drives, or how driving is split
What happens if a parent is running late, and how long the other parent should wait
Any conditions for exchanges (for example, exchanges at school only)

6. Travel and relocation

Notice required for out-of-town trips during your own parenting time
What information is shared: itinerary, where the children are staying, a contact number
Rules for out-of-state and international travel, including passports and consent
How a potential move by either parent will be handled. Many states have specific relocation rules, so this section especially benefits from legal advice.

7. Communication

How parents communicate: email, text, a co-parenting app, or a combination
Expected response times for non-urgent messages
How and when children can contact the other parent (calls, video chats)
A commitment to keep communication focused on the children. If communication is difficult, see our guide to co-parenting with a difficult ex.

8. Schedule changes and swaps

Life rarely follows a plan perfectly. Decide in advance:

How to request a swap or schedule change, and how much notice is needed
How swaps are confirmed (ideally in writing)
Whether missed time is made up
Right of first refusal: if a parent can't care for the kids during their time for a certain number of hours, is the other parent offered the time first?

9. Expenses

Child support is usually set separately, often following state guidelines. Your plan may still address:

How extra expenses are shared: medical and dental costs not covered by insurance, school fees, childcare, extracurricular activities, camps
The percentage split (50/50 or another share)
How and when reimbursement requests are made, and what documentation is needed
Who carries the children's health insurance

10. Parenting guidelines

Some families include shared agreements about:

Keeping routines reasonably consistent across both homes (bedtime, screen time, homework)
Not speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children
Introducing new partners
Discipline approaches

Keep this section realistic. Rules you can't follow or enforce can create more conflict than they prevent.

11. Resolving disagreements and reviewing the plan

A process for disputes before going to court, such as mediation or a parenting coordinator
When the plan will be reviewed (for example, when a child starts middle school)
How changes are made official. In many cases, informal agreements between parents don't change a court order; a family law attorney can explain what's needed in your state.

Final tips

Be specific. Vague language ("reasonable time," "the holidays") is where disputes start.
Think years ahead. Kids grow, schools change and parents move. Build in flexibility and a review process.
Put it on a calendar. A plan is only as good as both parents' ability to follow it day to day.

This article is for informational purposes and isn't legal advice. Custody rules vary by state—talk to a family law attorney or mediator.

Turn your parenting plan into a calendar

Alternly doesn't replace your parenting plan or court order; it's the calendar that carries it out. Enter your custody rhythm, start date, school breaks and holiday rule, and Alternly builds your schedule years in advance, with federal holidays shown automatically and major holidays alternating by even and odd year. Invite your co-parent with one link, handle swaps in the app, and (with premium) track shared expenses and sync with Google or Apple Calendar. Create your free custody calendar today.

What to Include in a Parenting Plan: A Complete Checklist